Manos: The Hands of Fate - A film so bad, it's an insult to cinema.
I'm not gonna waste time telling you a lot about the context so I'll get straight into the 'plot'. One day, a couple and their young daughter are on a road trip. While attempting to find their accommodation, they get lost down a deserted road and end up at a shack-like place. They are welcomed in by a supposedly disabled man named Torgo, who is looking after the place while his 'master' is away. They soon learn (these people have obviously never seen a horror movie before) that they aren't allowed to leave the shack. It turns out that the 'master' is actually a Satanist (or some shit like that) who worships some being named Manos, while also collecting wives from the people who are trapped in the inn. And so you could probably guess where it goes from there.
The infamous scene where a clapper board is seen on screen.
The thing that sets Manos: The Hands of Fate apart from all those other bad cult classics, is the fact that that it is so crushingly, mind-numbingly, brain-cell reducingly dumb. I could literally feel brain-cells rotting away while watching it. I mean, this is perhaps the dumbest film I've ever seen, and I've seen Transformers 2. As an indication of how dumb this film is, take a look at the title. The English translation from the Spanish word Manos is hands. Meaning that the title of this film is Hands: The Hands of Fate. Meaning that the being the Master is worshiping is named Hands. Then you realise that the Harold P. Warren, the writer/director has a weird obsession with hands. The subtitle "The Hands of Fate" is not a metaphor. It appears to be literal. I mean the Master's costume is a massive Batman cape that when opened reveals two giant orange hands. And his staff has a hand on the end of it. Hands. Hands. Hands Hands, FUCKING HANDS! EVERYWHERE! The other dumb thing about this film are the characters, who are so dumb that they are oblivious to EVERYTHING that happens around them. It gets to the point where you literally want to take a gun to the head.
The other unforgivable thing about this 'film' is that it is sooooooooo boring and slow, despite it thankfully being only 68 minutes long. For example, the first 10 minutes of the film is unnecessarily comprised of the same shot of them driving around trying to find this place, only occasionally cutting back to a downright stupid and, you guessed it, dumb subplot about a young couple kissing in their car and being followed around by police. Yuh huh. This all makes the film so much more tortuous.
If I had to praise anything about this film, I would say that the soundtrack is somewhat halfway decent, even though the audio in the film rarely synchronizes with what it should do. But when watching this film, you just get the feeling that they aren't even trying to make a film. It feels like a something a bunch of people just vomited up over the weekend. After watching this film, I made a comparison to Tommy Wiseau's The Room, and found that I was convinced that The Room was a decent film. Manos: The Hands of Fate is that bad. Although it may sound like it has entertainment value, don't be fooled. It doesn't. This would be a good, more humane weapon for torture. Avoid this like your life depended on it.